i think my tv is drunk
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
