Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is wine microwaveable?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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