The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my phone needs a breathalizer
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
