so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
