I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
