If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
