I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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