cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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