I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
