He uses pillows to masturbate.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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