VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
