mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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