so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm getting married
To pizza
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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