i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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