But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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