We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
