its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Two words: blizzard sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
