Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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