i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
