My hand turned me down
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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