I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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