Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list