"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
