Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
