By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
