He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
