Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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