but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
