I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize