My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
