just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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