The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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