I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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