How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
