i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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