I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
