Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
