I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize