hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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