i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
