I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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