i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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