i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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