we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
