they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
