a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
