:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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