the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
