using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
