he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize