I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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