Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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