not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize