Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
