Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
