Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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