this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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