is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
